Contagion Chapter Eighteen
"Are you crazy?" Maggie asked as she paced back and forth in Beth's bedroom. Andrea had tracked her down and informed her Lori was looking for her and once she had came back to the house she had been informed of Beth being suicidal and of her taking the knife. "What if dad finds out?"
"What's he gonna do?" Beth asked as she shook her head. "Kill me for committing suicide."
Walking to Beth's bed Maggie sat down, "Stop being such a brat. He'd die," she said knowing their dad would die if Beth killed herself. "So would I. This isn't just about you. We all lost mom."
"We'll lose each other and I couldn't stand that," Beth spoke knowing she wouldn't stand it if she lost her family.
"So you give up?" Maggie asked not sure that made sense and she could tell from the way Beth looked at her that they'd be having this conversation for awhile.
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"Why didn't you tell Viv about the group of people on the farm?" Alice asked as she stood in the kitchen with Lucy and Sutton. Viv was upstairs bandaging the girl who she had brought in that was unconscious and the blonde who had been walking behind them was with her as well, unwilling to leave the side of who she said was her sister.
"I didn't see the use," Lucy admitted knowing Sutton had ratted her out the minute Viv walked in with the two girls though it hadn't been intentional, it had just slipped. "They have a group and I didn't think any of them would find us nor would Viv want us joining them. You know her rules..we only link up with people if they find us and they get abandoned."
Alice rolled her eyes but she knew Lucy was right and that she had a point, "Does this mean they are going to join us now?" she mused as she looked from Lucy to Sutton. "I mean they could be abandoned or unable to get back to the farm they are staying at."
"No," Viv answered as she walked into the kitchen, catching Alice's question. "They have a group and they can get back to the farm now. The blonde one..her name is Jessica and she requested time alone with her sister who is now awake. She's going to let her sister rest for a bit and then they are gonna head back out. They want to leave."
"You never gave us an option to leave," Sutton said as she sat down at the table.
"You guys never had groups or families who could possibly come looking for you or people you wanted to find. Everyone you had was dead or with you," Viv answered as she turned to look at Sutton knowing when she had taken in Sutton that she had,had Kirby but then Kirby had died.
Lucy nodded, "You going to escort them back or let them go on their own?"
"They'll be fine on their own. They have a gun and we have some extra bullets we can give them if they need them," Viv smiled before walking to Alice who she wrapped her arms around. "But you do need to tell me from now on when you notice people around here. For all we know they could be dangerous."
"How do you know their group isnt?" Alice asked as she turned to peck Viv's lips.
"Gut instinct," Viv answered knowing she wouldn't have helped them if she hadn't felt safe around Jessica when she saw her.
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Andrea made a face as she stood in the kitchen with Kate and Lori listening to Maggie and Beth arguing upstairs. "Where's Hershel?" she asked as she eyed Kate and Lori.
"Maggie doesn't want him to find out yet," Kate spoke knowing Maggie had requested them not to look for Hershel or find him.
"It's a family affair," Lori shrugged as she munched on some cucumbers. "We'll let them work it out."
Andrea again made a face, "That's working it out?" she asked Lori not sure she'd call the arguing working it out.
"When Beth stops fighting, that's when it's time to worry," Lori said as she got down from the counter she had been sitting on.
"This could have been handled better," Andrea mused as she watched Lori start to put dishes away.
Lori gave Andrea a questioning stare, "How so?"
"You shouldn't have taken the knife away," Andrea answered feeling like Lori had been in the wrong to even take the knife away from Beth.
"Excuse me?" Lori asked feeling taken aback by what Andrea had said.
Andrea just shrugged, "You were wrong, like Dale taking my gun. That wasn't your decision," she said as she shook her head. "She had to choose to live on her own. She has to find her own reasons."
"Want me to tie a noose for her?" Lori asked sarcastically as she crossed her arms.
"If she's serious, she'll figure it out," Andrea reasoned knowing if Beth really was serious she'd still find a way to go through with it.
Lori just shook her head, "Doesn't mean I can't stop her or let her know that I care."
"That has nothing to do with it, Lori," Andrea spoke feeling as if she was the only one here who could understand Beth's reasons or well maybe Taylor could too but then again he wasn't here. "She only has so many choices in front of her, and she believes the best one is suicide."
"That's not an option," Lori said as she shook her head not even wanting to think of that.
"Of course it is," Andrea argued. "She doesn't need to be yelled at or treated like a child."
Lori scoffed at Andrea's words, "She needs a loaded gun, right?" she asked as she tried to stay calm but it was getting hard. "You'll understand if I don't send you in there."
"I came through it," Andrea stated knowing she had survived and gotten through as a stronger person.
"And became such a productive member of the group," Lori again scoffed. "Let Maggie handle this her way."
Andrea flinched slightly feeling stung by Lori's words, "I contribute," she stated knowing she helped out. She did look out and was becoming a good shot. "I help keep this place safe."
"The men can handle this on their own," Lori stated knowing the men could take care of keeping things safe. "They don't need your help."
"I'm sorry," Andrea muttered feeling personally attacked right now. "What would you have me do?"
"Oh, there's plenty of work to go around," Lori told her knowing there were chores around the house that Andrea could do.
Now it was Andrea's turn to scoff, "Are you serious? Everything falls apart, you're in my face over skipping laundry?"
"Puts a burden on the rest of us," Lori said as she shook her head and looked at Kate for support but the woman just shook her head as she looked away from Lori. "On me, Carol, Patricia, Maggie and Kate. Cooking,cleaning and caring for Beth. And you..you don't care about anyone but yourself..You sit up on that RV, working on your tan with a shotgun in your lap."
Andrea shook her head at Lori's words, "No, I am on watch against walkers. That is what matters, not fresh mint leaves in the lemonade."
"And we are providing stability," Lori countered Andrea's argument. "We are trying to create a life worth living."
"Are you kidding me?" Andrea asked as she laughed slightly.
"Look, I went after Rick," Lori said as she locked eyes with Andrea. "I took down two walkers."
Andrea rolled her eyes at that, "After crashing Maggie's car," she added in.
"Don't act like you're the only one who can take care of herself," Lori muttered.
"Ever apologize for that? Crashing her..." Andrea started but got cut off by Lori calling her insane. "No, you are," she muttered. "And you're the one that's self-centered, the way you take it all for granted."
Lori felt perplexed by Andrea's statement, "My husband is out there for the hundredth time. My son was shot. Don't you dare tell me I take this for granted."
"You don't get it, do you?" Andrea asked as she locked eyes with Lori. "Your husband came back from the dead, your son too. And now you've got a baby on the way. The rest of us have piled up our losses...Me, Carol, Beth...but you just keep on keeping on. We have all suffered. Playing house, acting like queen bee, laying down rules for everybody but yourself," Andrea sighed. "You know what? Go ahead. Go in there and tell that little girl that everything's gonna be okay, just like it is for you. She'll get a husband, a son, baby...boyfriend," she muttered watching as Lori just gave her a look of horror. "She just has to look on the bright side," she finished before walking out of the kitchen.
Kate watched Andrea walk away and then Lori too had walked away and Kate ran a hand through her hair. Andrea had some valid points...even if she had stopped Taylor from doing the same thing Lori was stopping Beth from doing.
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Avery looked at Jessica as she sat up in the bed, "I don't want to take the test," she spoke as she looked at her sister who had been urging her to take the pregnancy test for the last five minutes now. "I just want to get out of this place and go back to the farm."
"Listen we can go back after you take the test alright?" Jessica spoke as she tried to smile. "And you can kill me for us getting into the wreck as well."
"Oh trust me I already had plans on that," Avery told her sister as she took the box from her hands and headed towards the bathroom that was connected to the room. Going inside she shut and locked the door and soon proceeded to follow the directions on the box.
It was only after she laid the stick down that she let her mind wander to what if she was pregnant. She had thought about it on the highway and hated the idea..well only if the baby wasn't Daryl's and if she was pregnant then there was no way the baby was his. She'd be having Shane's baby and she'd be tied to him forever.
"I'd rather be tied to Daryl forever," Avery whispered closing her eyes tight. But if she was having Shane's baby she'd survive. She had survived what her dad did to her. She had survived numerous times of when she had cut her wrists to cope with that pain and all she had been left with was scars. Hell she was surviving this world even if she still felt like a weak little girl. She could survive even if she saw herself as weak.
Opening her eyes again she reached for the stick, a smile coming across her lips at the results. Throwing the stick in the trash can she stood to exit the bathroom, "Can we go now?"
"What were the results?" Jessica asked as she walked to her sister.
"I'm not pregnant," Avery stated as she smiled feeling like she had dodged a bullet. "Now can we go? I want to get back to the farm."
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"Mom would be ashamed, "Maggie said as she turned to look at Beth. "To learn she had raised such a coward. What about dad, Beth?"
"He's clueless," Beth stated unaffected by Maggie's words. "He had us waiting for a cure."
Maggie shook her head, "He knows he was wrong."
"When has dad ever admitted he was wrong?" Beth asked knowing their father had never done that. "He's just telling Rick's group what they want to hear."
"And Jimmy?" Maggie asked raising an eyebrow.
Beth just scrunched up her nose, "We went out for three months and now I'm married to him?"
"And me?" Maggie asked as she frowned. "You could do that to me? I can't take another funeral."
"You can't avoid it," Beth whispered as she swallowed a lump in her throat. "What are we waiting for? We should both do it."
"What?" Maggie muttered her eyes widening at the words coming out of her sister's mouth.
"At the same time. Help each other," Beth continued even as she heard Maggie mutter a no. "It's hard to do it. No one wants to but..."
Maggie just shook her head feeling tears in her eyes, "No, please don't."
"We can do it so it's peaceful, easy," Beth stated knowing there were easy ways to kill their selves.
"Stop talking like that," Maggie sighed not liking the way her sister was being so morbid.
"Our choice, and then it would be over. Or we'll be forced to do it when the farm and this house is overrun," Beth continued knowing when that happened they'd have no other choice. "No one can protect us."
Maggie again shook her head, "That's not true."
"Who, Taylor?" Beth asked raising an eyebrow. "I heard what happened. Rick will save his family, the others too. We're alone. You, me, Patricia, with only dad and Jimmy against a whole world of those things. I don't wanna be gutted. I wanna go in this bed, tonight with you beside me," she pleaded locking eyes with her sister. "Please."
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"How was I to know they would wreck?" Glenn asked as he walked behind Daryl in the woods. They had found the car the girls had left in overturned on the side of the highway with only one gun still wedged in the back seat amidst some other stuff. Ever since finding the wrecked car Daryl had been on some trail in the woods and ignoring Glenn though he could tell the man was pissed. "If I had know they were going to wreck I would have told Jessica no."
"You should have told her no anyway," Daryl snapped as he looked up from the fine foot prints he was following. "Now they could be dead because of you...she could be dead!"
"Avery?" Glenn questioned seeing Daryl glaring even more. "Okay stupid question," he muttered feeling himself blush. "I just..I didn't realize you loved her so much. I knew she loved or likes you but I didn't realize..." he sighed as he thought of the woman he loved as well. He refused to believe they were dead.
Daryl just continued glaring at Glenn wanting to lash out at him but before he could say anything he heard a gunshot echo out in the distance and he took off running. He didn't even care if Glenn caught up with him he just had to get to where that gunshot was. It could have been Avery and she could have been in trouble.
As he ran though he held his crossbow up..just in case it wasn't Avery or god forbid he was too late.
Avery who was walking with Jessica came to a stop as she looked in front of her in time to see Daryl slowing down from running his crossbow raised in the air, "I didn't know you raised your crossbow at living people now," she mused watching him put the crossbow down.
"I..we..." Daryl started but he couldn't get his words out. He had thought he lost her and he had been scared.
Avery just smiled as she walked to where he was, "I'm fine," she nodded as she locked eyes with him. She wanted to reach out and touch him but she was scared too. Jessica was here and well she could see Glenn walking behind Daryl. "I'm scratched up but okay," she said knowing the place on her head would heal.
"How did you even find us?" Jessica asked as she finally caught up with her sister.
"The idiot you call a boyfriend fessed up to you guys being gone and then I just tracked you or well I tried it but it lead me to the car and then I tracked footsteps through the woods," Daryl shrugged. "Merle always was good at teaching me how to track."
Avery just looked down at his mention of Merle. "Can we just go back now?" she asked as she sighed. "I just want to rest."
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Kate who had walked to the room where the two Greene sisters were knocked on the door lightly as she opened it slowly, "Hey," she said giving Maggie a smile. "You can't sit on top of her," she whispered as Maggie walked to the door where she stood.
"I can't leave her by herself," Maggie replied knowing if she did there was no telling what Beth would do.
"You're gonna have too," Kate said as she looked Maggie over. "You're exhausted. Go get some air. I'll sit with her," she said as she smiled even more seeing the reluctance on Maggie's face before she looked back to Beth who was still on the bed. "Go ahead. Wash up, get something to eat. I got it."
Maggie listened to Kate's words still and she sighed, "Okay," she relented. "Okay," she said again before moving past Kate to leave the room. "Thanks."
The moment Maggie walked away Kate went inside Beth's room just looking down at the blonde girl on the bed. The girl she swore her husband loved and she tried to figure out why. Beth just seemed so fragile...too fragile for someone like Zac. But maybe her husband had a damsel kink she didn't know about.
"Aren't you going to say something?" Beth asked as she looked at Kate when Kate just stood there in silence.
Kate just shook her head no at Beth's question before walking to the other door in the room and opening it, "Is this what you want?" she questioned as she raised an eyebrow. "The pain doesn't go away. You just make room for it," she told the girl before she left the room leaving Beth alone. Maybe Andrea had been right when she said the choice was all up to Beth and maybe Beth should be the one to decide if she lived or died.
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Avery sighed to herself as she sat in the RV with Jessica. They hadn't been back for long and she thought for sure Daryl would never leave her side but she had convinced him too at least long enough to let her speak to her sister alone. It was almost weird having Daryl care so much about her.
"So what changed between you and Daryl?" Jessica asked as she sat down beside Avery. "I don't think I was imagining his worry over you."
Avery blushed slightly at Jessica's words, "We had sex and we came to some agreement that we just are. We're something but it has no labels."
"So he's dating you without saying he is dating you," Jessica sighed as she shook her head. "Sounds very Daryl."
Shrugging Avery just blushed some more, "I..we don't have to tell them why we left. Especially since it was nothing. I'm probably just late because of stress."
"Did you want to be pregnant?" Jessica asked though she felt she already knew the answer before asking the question.
"No," Avery spoke with honesty. "But if I had been I would have survived. I would have found a way to cope and the group would have three pregnant women. Two of those by Shane..maybe," she said uncertain Lori's baby was his though it could be Rick's but her gut told her it was Shane's. "And I might have lost Daryl but I would have coped because I always cope even if I still feel so weak at times."
Jessica shook her head, "You aren't weak. Sometimes I wish I could be as strong as you."
Avery blushed even more at Jessica's words, "I think someday I may want a baby though. I mean once the time is right of course. The hard part would be getting Daryl to agree with that."
"He could come around," Jessica laughed. "You could domesticate his inner cat."
At Jessica's words Avery laughed too, "That's just not the best words but sure," she joked as she ran a hand through her hair. "Now can I kill you for our risking our lives?"
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Standing in the locked bathroom crying, Beth looked at herself in the mirror and the moment she heard her sister's faint voice on the other side she knew she had to do it, she had to get this over with. Raising her hand she broke the glass on the mirror and reached for one of the shards.
Through her tears she could see well enough to put the glass to her skin and she did, putting it sharply against the flesh before moving it along watching as blood started to come out. A lot of blood and as she watched the blood start to go down her arm all she could see in her head was the face of one of the men who had stayed at her bedside. The man she had heard Jimmy accuse of loving her. The man she had kissed.
She was seeing Zac's face and that mixed with the sight of all the blood was enough to make her realize she wanted to live. She couldn't die. Hearing the door open Beth reached down to hold her wrist and she turned to face Maggie and Lori who must have somehow opened the locked door while she had been off in her mind thinking of Zac Hanson.
"I'm sorry," she apologized as Maggie pulled her closer and they exited the bathroom.
"It's okay," Maggie reassured her sister as she lead her to her bed. She needed to go find her dad so he could stitch up Beth's wound because it looked deep.
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Going running back to the main house sometime later that afternoon Kate watched as Maggie came outside.
"Where were you?" Maggie asked as she glared at the woman in front of her.
"I heard," Kate spoke knowing Andrea had informed her of what happened. "Is she alright?"
"She would be if you had stayed with her," Maggie spat out as she kept her glare. "Where were you?"
Kate ignored Maggie's question, "How bad is she?"
"It wasn't deep," Maggie informed her as she shook her head.
"She wants to live," Kate repeated realizing then Andrea had been right and she felt even more content in the choice she had made. "She made her choice."
Maggie glared even more at Kate's words, "She tried to kill herself."
"No, she didn't," Kate spoke knowing Beth hadn't tried. If Beth had wanted to die she'd be dead but instead something had kept her from dying.
"My father is stitching her wrists," Maggie stated knowing what she had seen. Beth had tried to kill herself.
Moving up farther onto the porch Kate started to head inside but was stopped when Maggie came in front of her.
"Stay away from her. From both of us," Maggie warned as she looked eyes with Kate. "Don't you dare step foot inside this house again."
Kate took in Maggie's words and she nodded her head, turning and stepping away, heading back towards the main camp.
"I'm not gonna say she was right, but Beth has made her choice," Lori added in having come outside to hear Maggie and Kate's conversation. "She wants to live and now she knows it and sometimes you have to cross the line," she told the oldest Greene girl repeating some of what Andrea had been trying to tell her earlier.
"Mhmm," Maggie muttered as she rolled her eyes and headed back inside.
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"Is it true?" Zac asked as he found his wife in their tent that night. It was after dinner time. A meal Kate had opted to eat out in the tent and maybe that had been a good idea because it had been in the middle of dinner when Rick and Shane had came back with Randall. Apparently he had went to school with Maggie and they were now afraid to let him go in case he brought his group here. Instead they had him in a shed and Mac was keeping watch, making sure he didn't try to escape.
"Is what true?" Kate asked trying to play dumb though she was sure she knew what Zac meant.
Zac just crossed his arms as he looked at his wife, "That you left the room when you had agreed to watch Beth? You knew she was suicidal."
Kate nodded her head, "It is true," she confirmed as she locked eyes with Zac. It was at her confirmation that she swore she saw something in him switch. Like his emotions had changed and she didn't like the man whose face she now looked at.
"I can't believe you Katie," Zac growled through clenched teeth. "I knew you were jealous but I promised to put you first," he spat out as he shook his head. "I guess that wasn't enough though was it? You really wanted to make sure she was gone and you didn't care how did you it?"
Feeling her eyes widen Kate just stared at Zac in disbelief, "You think I did it because I wanted her dead?" she asked as she shook her head. "I did it because Beth had to make the choice to live."
"Just like Taylor should have too," Zac spat out again as he felt tears forming in his eyes. "I..I'm done," he told her as he moved past her and went to were his duffle bag was. Pushing a few things in it he sighed. "I can't be near you right now and I'm going to go sleep in Taylor and Mac's tent."
Still feeling stunned Kate just stood there watching as Zac left before she could even argue with him or change his mind. After he left though she just sat down on their cot as she broke down in tears. She hated that Zac had accused her of wanting Beth dead. She hated that he had also thrown her saving Taylor at the CDC up in her face as proof that she hadn't really done what she did today as a chance to let Beth decide her own fate, mainly because she knew that made her look guilty.
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Avery yawned as she laid behind Daryl in his tent. They had just got done having sex, something they hadn't done since the first time and something Avery was unsure would happen again but then after dinner tonight Daryl had become that overprotective guy from this afternoon and he had asked her to stay with him tonight and how could she refuse that?
"I think you wore me out," she whispered as she leaned over to kiss one of the scars on his back, an action that made him flinch.
Flinching as Avery kissed one of his scars Daryl turned over to look at her, "I..don't," he sighed as he felt himself blush. "Just don't like that part of myself," he confessed as he blushed more hating how open he was with her. What was this damn hold she had on him?
Avery just nodded at his words and held her wrist out for him to see the scars there, "I have my own," she told him. "Not like how you got yours but I have them. I think scars make people stronger. They showed you survived shit. You should never be ashamed of that," she said as she pulled the blanket over them.
"Whatever you say Hanson," Daryl muttered knowing she was getting too sentimental for him. "Just go to sleep little girl."
"Fine Dixon," Avery smirked as she moved closer to him and buried her head into his neck. "Goodnight," she whispered as she kissed the skin at his neck softly and she inhaled his scent. He smelled of the woods and of sweat and also now faintly of her. It was a scent she could get used too.
"Are you crazy?" Maggie asked as she paced back and forth in Beth's bedroom. Andrea had tracked her down and informed her Lori was looking for her and once she had came back to the house she had been informed of Beth being suicidal and of her taking the knife. "What if dad finds out?"
"What's he gonna do?" Beth asked as she shook her head. "Kill me for committing suicide."
Walking to Beth's bed Maggie sat down, "Stop being such a brat. He'd die," she said knowing their dad would die if Beth killed herself. "So would I. This isn't just about you. We all lost mom."
"We'll lose each other and I couldn't stand that," Beth spoke knowing she wouldn't stand it if she lost her family.
"So you give up?" Maggie asked not sure that made sense and she could tell from the way Beth looked at her that they'd be having this conversation for awhile.
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"Why didn't you tell Viv about the group of people on the farm?" Alice asked as she stood in the kitchen with Lucy and Sutton. Viv was upstairs bandaging the girl who she had brought in that was unconscious and the blonde who had been walking behind them was with her as well, unwilling to leave the side of who she said was her sister.
"I didn't see the use," Lucy admitted knowing Sutton had ratted her out the minute Viv walked in with the two girls though it hadn't been intentional, it had just slipped. "They have a group and I didn't think any of them would find us nor would Viv want us joining them. You know her rules..we only link up with people if they find us and they get abandoned."
Alice rolled her eyes but she knew Lucy was right and that she had a point, "Does this mean they are going to join us now?" she mused as she looked from Lucy to Sutton. "I mean they could be abandoned or unable to get back to the farm they are staying at."
"No," Viv answered as she walked into the kitchen, catching Alice's question. "They have a group and they can get back to the farm now. The blonde one..her name is Jessica and she requested time alone with her sister who is now awake. She's going to let her sister rest for a bit and then they are gonna head back out. They want to leave."
"You never gave us an option to leave," Sutton said as she sat down at the table.
"You guys never had groups or families who could possibly come looking for you or people you wanted to find. Everyone you had was dead or with you," Viv answered as she turned to look at Sutton knowing when she had taken in Sutton that she had,had Kirby but then Kirby had died.
Lucy nodded, "You going to escort them back or let them go on their own?"
"They'll be fine on their own. They have a gun and we have some extra bullets we can give them if they need them," Viv smiled before walking to Alice who she wrapped her arms around. "But you do need to tell me from now on when you notice people around here. For all we know they could be dangerous."
"How do you know their group isnt?" Alice asked as she turned to peck Viv's lips.
"Gut instinct," Viv answered knowing she wouldn't have helped them if she hadn't felt safe around Jessica when she saw her.
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Andrea made a face as she stood in the kitchen with Kate and Lori listening to Maggie and Beth arguing upstairs. "Where's Hershel?" she asked as she eyed Kate and Lori.
"Maggie doesn't want him to find out yet," Kate spoke knowing Maggie had requested them not to look for Hershel or find him.
"It's a family affair," Lori shrugged as she munched on some cucumbers. "We'll let them work it out."
Andrea again made a face, "That's working it out?" she asked Lori not sure she'd call the arguing working it out.
"When Beth stops fighting, that's when it's time to worry," Lori said as she got down from the counter she had been sitting on.
"This could have been handled better," Andrea mused as she watched Lori start to put dishes away.
Lori gave Andrea a questioning stare, "How so?"
"You shouldn't have taken the knife away," Andrea answered feeling like Lori had been in the wrong to even take the knife away from Beth.
"Excuse me?" Lori asked feeling taken aback by what Andrea had said.
Andrea just shrugged, "You were wrong, like Dale taking my gun. That wasn't your decision," she said as she shook her head. "She had to choose to live on her own. She has to find her own reasons."
"Want me to tie a noose for her?" Lori asked sarcastically as she crossed her arms.
"If she's serious, she'll figure it out," Andrea reasoned knowing if Beth really was serious she'd still find a way to go through with it.
Lori just shook her head, "Doesn't mean I can't stop her or let her know that I care."
"That has nothing to do with it, Lori," Andrea spoke feeling as if she was the only one here who could understand Beth's reasons or well maybe Taylor could too but then again he wasn't here. "She only has so many choices in front of her, and she believes the best one is suicide."
"That's not an option," Lori said as she shook her head not even wanting to think of that.
"Of course it is," Andrea argued. "She doesn't need to be yelled at or treated like a child."
Lori scoffed at Andrea's words, "She needs a loaded gun, right?" she asked as she tried to stay calm but it was getting hard. "You'll understand if I don't send you in there."
"I came through it," Andrea stated knowing she had survived and gotten through as a stronger person.
"And became such a productive member of the group," Lori again scoffed. "Let Maggie handle this her way."
Andrea flinched slightly feeling stung by Lori's words, "I contribute," she stated knowing she helped out. She did look out and was becoming a good shot. "I help keep this place safe."
"The men can handle this on their own," Lori stated knowing the men could take care of keeping things safe. "They don't need your help."
"I'm sorry," Andrea muttered feeling personally attacked right now. "What would you have me do?"
"Oh, there's plenty of work to go around," Lori told her knowing there were chores around the house that Andrea could do.
Now it was Andrea's turn to scoff, "Are you serious? Everything falls apart, you're in my face over skipping laundry?"
"Puts a burden on the rest of us," Lori said as she shook her head and looked at Kate for support but the woman just shook her head as she looked away from Lori. "On me, Carol, Patricia, Maggie and Kate. Cooking,cleaning and caring for Beth. And you..you don't care about anyone but yourself..You sit up on that RV, working on your tan with a shotgun in your lap."
Andrea shook her head at Lori's words, "No, I am on watch against walkers. That is what matters, not fresh mint leaves in the lemonade."
"And we are providing stability," Lori countered Andrea's argument. "We are trying to create a life worth living."
"Are you kidding me?" Andrea asked as she laughed slightly.
"Look, I went after Rick," Lori said as she locked eyes with Andrea. "I took down two walkers."
Andrea rolled her eyes at that, "After crashing Maggie's car," she added in.
"Don't act like you're the only one who can take care of herself," Lori muttered.
"Ever apologize for that? Crashing her..." Andrea started but got cut off by Lori calling her insane. "No, you are," she muttered. "And you're the one that's self-centered, the way you take it all for granted."
Lori felt perplexed by Andrea's statement, "My husband is out there for the hundredth time. My son was shot. Don't you dare tell me I take this for granted."
"You don't get it, do you?" Andrea asked as she locked eyes with Lori. "Your husband came back from the dead, your son too. And now you've got a baby on the way. The rest of us have piled up our losses...Me, Carol, Beth...but you just keep on keeping on. We have all suffered. Playing house, acting like queen bee, laying down rules for everybody but yourself," Andrea sighed. "You know what? Go ahead. Go in there and tell that little girl that everything's gonna be okay, just like it is for you. She'll get a husband, a son, baby...boyfriend," she muttered watching as Lori just gave her a look of horror. "She just has to look on the bright side," she finished before walking out of the kitchen.
Kate watched Andrea walk away and then Lori too had walked away and Kate ran a hand through her hair. Andrea had some valid points...even if she had stopped Taylor from doing the same thing Lori was stopping Beth from doing.
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Avery looked at Jessica as she sat up in the bed, "I don't want to take the test," she spoke as she looked at her sister who had been urging her to take the pregnancy test for the last five minutes now. "I just want to get out of this place and go back to the farm."
"Listen we can go back after you take the test alright?" Jessica spoke as she tried to smile. "And you can kill me for us getting into the wreck as well."
"Oh trust me I already had plans on that," Avery told her sister as she took the box from her hands and headed towards the bathroom that was connected to the room. Going inside she shut and locked the door and soon proceeded to follow the directions on the box.
It was only after she laid the stick down that she let her mind wander to what if she was pregnant. She had thought about it on the highway and hated the idea..well only if the baby wasn't Daryl's and if she was pregnant then there was no way the baby was his. She'd be having Shane's baby and she'd be tied to him forever.
"I'd rather be tied to Daryl forever," Avery whispered closing her eyes tight. But if she was having Shane's baby she'd survive. She had survived what her dad did to her. She had survived numerous times of when she had cut her wrists to cope with that pain and all she had been left with was scars. Hell she was surviving this world even if she still felt like a weak little girl. She could survive even if she saw herself as weak.
Opening her eyes again she reached for the stick, a smile coming across her lips at the results. Throwing the stick in the trash can she stood to exit the bathroom, "Can we go now?"
"What were the results?" Jessica asked as she walked to her sister.
"I'm not pregnant," Avery stated as she smiled feeling like she had dodged a bullet. "Now can we go? I want to get back to the farm."
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"Mom would be ashamed, "Maggie said as she turned to look at Beth. "To learn she had raised such a coward. What about dad, Beth?"
"He's clueless," Beth stated unaffected by Maggie's words. "He had us waiting for a cure."
Maggie shook her head, "He knows he was wrong."
"When has dad ever admitted he was wrong?" Beth asked knowing their father had never done that. "He's just telling Rick's group what they want to hear."
"And Jimmy?" Maggie asked raising an eyebrow.
Beth just scrunched up her nose, "We went out for three months and now I'm married to him?"
"And me?" Maggie asked as she frowned. "You could do that to me? I can't take another funeral."
"You can't avoid it," Beth whispered as she swallowed a lump in her throat. "What are we waiting for? We should both do it."
"What?" Maggie muttered her eyes widening at the words coming out of her sister's mouth.
"At the same time. Help each other," Beth continued even as she heard Maggie mutter a no. "It's hard to do it. No one wants to but..."
Maggie just shook her head feeling tears in her eyes, "No, please don't."
"We can do it so it's peaceful, easy," Beth stated knowing there were easy ways to kill their selves.
"Stop talking like that," Maggie sighed not liking the way her sister was being so morbid.
"Our choice, and then it would be over. Or we'll be forced to do it when the farm and this house is overrun," Beth continued knowing when that happened they'd have no other choice. "No one can protect us."
Maggie again shook her head, "That's not true."
"Who, Taylor?" Beth asked raising an eyebrow. "I heard what happened. Rick will save his family, the others too. We're alone. You, me, Patricia, with only dad and Jimmy against a whole world of those things. I don't wanna be gutted. I wanna go in this bed, tonight with you beside me," she pleaded locking eyes with her sister. "Please."
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"How was I to know they would wreck?" Glenn asked as he walked behind Daryl in the woods. They had found the car the girls had left in overturned on the side of the highway with only one gun still wedged in the back seat amidst some other stuff. Ever since finding the wrecked car Daryl had been on some trail in the woods and ignoring Glenn though he could tell the man was pissed. "If I had know they were going to wreck I would have told Jessica no."
"You should have told her no anyway," Daryl snapped as he looked up from the fine foot prints he was following. "Now they could be dead because of you...she could be dead!"
"Avery?" Glenn questioned seeing Daryl glaring even more. "Okay stupid question," he muttered feeling himself blush. "I just..I didn't realize you loved her so much. I knew she loved or likes you but I didn't realize..." he sighed as he thought of the woman he loved as well. He refused to believe they were dead.
Daryl just continued glaring at Glenn wanting to lash out at him but before he could say anything he heard a gunshot echo out in the distance and he took off running. He didn't even care if Glenn caught up with him he just had to get to where that gunshot was. It could have been Avery and she could have been in trouble.
As he ran though he held his crossbow up..just in case it wasn't Avery or god forbid he was too late.
Avery who was walking with Jessica came to a stop as she looked in front of her in time to see Daryl slowing down from running his crossbow raised in the air, "I didn't know you raised your crossbow at living people now," she mused watching him put the crossbow down.
"I..we..." Daryl started but he couldn't get his words out. He had thought he lost her and he had been scared.
Avery just smiled as she walked to where he was, "I'm fine," she nodded as she locked eyes with him. She wanted to reach out and touch him but she was scared too. Jessica was here and well she could see Glenn walking behind Daryl. "I'm scratched up but okay," she said knowing the place on her head would heal.
"How did you even find us?" Jessica asked as she finally caught up with her sister.
"The idiot you call a boyfriend fessed up to you guys being gone and then I just tracked you or well I tried it but it lead me to the car and then I tracked footsteps through the woods," Daryl shrugged. "Merle always was good at teaching me how to track."
Avery just looked down at his mention of Merle. "Can we just go back now?" she asked as she sighed. "I just want to rest."
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Kate who had walked to the room where the two Greene sisters were knocked on the door lightly as she opened it slowly, "Hey," she said giving Maggie a smile. "You can't sit on top of her," she whispered as Maggie walked to the door where she stood.
"I can't leave her by herself," Maggie replied knowing if she did there was no telling what Beth would do.
"You're gonna have too," Kate said as she looked Maggie over. "You're exhausted. Go get some air. I'll sit with her," she said as she smiled even more seeing the reluctance on Maggie's face before she looked back to Beth who was still on the bed. "Go ahead. Wash up, get something to eat. I got it."
Maggie listened to Kate's words still and she sighed, "Okay," she relented. "Okay," she said again before moving past Kate to leave the room. "Thanks."
The moment Maggie walked away Kate went inside Beth's room just looking down at the blonde girl on the bed. The girl she swore her husband loved and she tried to figure out why. Beth just seemed so fragile...too fragile for someone like Zac. But maybe her husband had a damsel kink she didn't know about.
"Aren't you going to say something?" Beth asked as she looked at Kate when Kate just stood there in silence.
Kate just shook her head no at Beth's question before walking to the other door in the room and opening it, "Is this what you want?" she questioned as she raised an eyebrow. "The pain doesn't go away. You just make room for it," she told the girl before she left the room leaving Beth alone. Maybe Andrea had been right when she said the choice was all up to Beth and maybe Beth should be the one to decide if she lived or died.
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Avery sighed to herself as she sat in the RV with Jessica. They hadn't been back for long and she thought for sure Daryl would never leave her side but she had convinced him too at least long enough to let her speak to her sister alone. It was almost weird having Daryl care so much about her.
"So what changed between you and Daryl?" Jessica asked as she sat down beside Avery. "I don't think I was imagining his worry over you."
Avery blushed slightly at Jessica's words, "We had sex and we came to some agreement that we just are. We're something but it has no labels."
"So he's dating you without saying he is dating you," Jessica sighed as she shook her head. "Sounds very Daryl."
Shrugging Avery just blushed some more, "I..we don't have to tell them why we left. Especially since it was nothing. I'm probably just late because of stress."
"Did you want to be pregnant?" Jessica asked though she felt she already knew the answer before asking the question.
"No," Avery spoke with honesty. "But if I had been I would have survived. I would have found a way to cope and the group would have three pregnant women. Two of those by Shane..maybe," she said uncertain Lori's baby was his though it could be Rick's but her gut told her it was Shane's. "And I might have lost Daryl but I would have coped because I always cope even if I still feel so weak at times."
Jessica shook her head, "You aren't weak. Sometimes I wish I could be as strong as you."
Avery blushed even more at Jessica's words, "I think someday I may want a baby though. I mean once the time is right of course. The hard part would be getting Daryl to agree with that."
"He could come around," Jessica laughed. "You could domesticate his inner cat."
At Jessica's words Avery laughed too, "That's just not the best words but sure," she joked as she ran a hand through her hair. "Now can I kill you for our risking our lives?"
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Standing in the locked bathroom crying, Beth looked at herself in the mirror and the moment she heard her sister's faint voice on the other side she knew she had to do it, she had to get this over with. Raising her hand she broke the glass on the mirror and reached for one of the shards.
Through her tears she could see well enough to put the glass to her skin and she did, putting it sharply against the flesh before moving it along watching as blood started to come out. A lot of blood and as she watched the blood start to go down her arm all she could see in her head was the face of one of the men who had stayed at her bedside. The man she had heard Jimmy accuse of loving her. The man she had kissed.
She was seeing Zac's face and that mixed with the sight of all the blood was enough to make her realize she wanted to live. She couldn't die. Hearing the door open Beth reached down to hold her wrist and she turned to face Maggie and Lori who must have somehow opened the locked door while she had been off in her mind thinking of Zac Hanson.
"I'm sorry," she apologized as Maggie pulled her closer and they exited the bathroom.
"It's okay," Maggie reassured her sister as she lead her to her bed. She needed to go find her dad so he could stitch up Beth's wound because it looked deep.
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Going running back to the main house sometime later that afternoon Kate watched as Maggie came outside.
"Where were you?" Maggie asked as she glared at the woman in front of her.
"I heard," Kate spoke knowing Andrea had informed her of what happened. "Is she alright?"
"She would be if you had stayed with her," Maggie spat out as she kept her glare. "Where were you?"
Kate ignored Maggie's question, "How bad is she?"
"It wasn't deep," Maggie informed her as she shook her head.
"She wants to live," Kate repeated realizing then Andrea had been right and she felt even more content in the choice she had made. "She made her choice."
Maggie glared even more at Kate's words, "She tried to kill herself."
"No, she didn't," Kate spoke knowing Beth hadn't tried. If Beth had wanted to die she'd be dead but instead something had kept her from dying.
"My father is stitching her wrists," Maggie stated knowing what she had seen. Beth had tried to kill herself.
Moving up farther onto the porch Kate started to head inside but was stopped when Maggie came in front of her.
"Stay away from her. From both of us," Maggie warned as she looked eyes with Kate. "Don't you dare step foot inside this house again."
Kate took in Maggie's words and she nodded her head, turning and stepping away, heading back towards the main camp.
"I'm not gonna say she was right, but Beth has made her choice," Lori added in having come outside to hear Maggie and Kate's conversation. "She wants to live and now she knows it and sometimes you have to cross the line," she told the oldest Greene girl repeating some of what Andrea had been trying to tell her earlier.
"Mhmm," Maggie muttered as she rolled her eyes and headed back inside.
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"Is it true?" Zac asked as he found his wife in their tent that night. It was after dinner time. A meal Kate had opted to eat out in the tent and maybe that had been a good idea because it had been in the middle of dinner when Rick and Shane had came back with Randall. Apparently he had went to school with Maggie and they were now afraid to let him go in case he brought his group here. Instead they had him in a shed and Mac was keeping watch, making sure he didn't try to escape.
"Is what true?" Kate asked trying to play dumb though she was sure she knew what Zac meant.
Zac just crossed his arms as he looked at his wife, "That you left the room when you had agreed to watch Beth? You knew she was suicidal."
Kate nodded her head, "It is true," she confirmed as she locked eyes with Zac. It was at her confirmation that she swore she saw something in him switch. Like his emotions had changed and she didn't like the man whose face she now looked at.
"I can't believe you Katie," Zac growled through clenched teeth. "I knew you were jealous but I promised to put you first," he spat out as he shook his head. "I guess that wasn't enough though was it? You really wanted to make sure she was gone and you didn't care how did you it?"
Feeling her eyes widen Kate just stared at Zac in disbelief, "You think I did it because I wanted her dead?" she asked as she shook her head. "I did it because Beth had to make the choice to live."
"Just like Taylor should have too," Zac spat out again as he felt tears forming in his eyes. "I..I'm done," he told her as he moved past her and went to were his duffle bag was. Pushing a few things in it he sighed. "I can't be near you right now and I'm going to go sleep in Taylor and Mac's tent."
Still feeling stunned Kate just stood there watching as Zac left before she could even argue with him or change his mind. After he left though she just sat down on their cot as she broke down in tears. She hated that Zac had accused her of wanting Beth dead. She hated that he had also thrown her saving Taylor at the CDC up in her face as proof that she hadn't really done what she did today as a chance to let Beth decide her own fate, mainly because she knew that made her look guilty.
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Avery yawned as she laid behind Daryl in his tent. They had just got done having sex, something they hadn't done since the first time and something Avery was unsure would happen again but then after dinner tonight Daryl had become that overprotective guy from this afternoon and he had asked her to stay with him tonight and how could she refuse that?
"I think you wore me out," she whispered as she leaned over to kiss one of the scars on his back, an action that made him flinch.
Flinching as Avery kissed one of his scars Daryl turned over to look at her, "I..don't," he sighed as he felt himself blush. "Just don't like that part of myself," he confessed as he blushed more hating how open he was with her. What was this damn hold she had on him?
Avery just nodded at his words and held her wrist out for him to see the scars there, "I have my own," she told him. "Not like how you got yours but I have them. I think scars make people stronger. They showed you survived shit. You should never be ashamed of that," she said as she pulled the blanket over them.
"Whatever you say Hanson," Daryl muttered knowing she was getting too sentimental for him. "Just go to sleep little girl."
"Fine Dixon," Avery smirked as she moved closer to him and buried her head into his neck. "Goodnight," she whispered as she kissed the skin at his neck softly and she inhaled his scent. He smelled of the woods and of sweat and also now faintly of her. It was a scent she could get used too.